Est Terminée

Est Terminée

Mum called me into the living room when I got back. Anne, Jase’s mum was there.

“I can’t allow you to get into that position again sweetheart. My actions have put you at risk, and I cannot let that happen again.”

“I am fine mum.”

“Yes, I know that you think that you are fine, but these tablets have changed our perceptions of things around us. We don’t see danger, our brains are ignoring the warning signs.”

“I can recognise them mum, Anne, tell her.”

Jase’s mum spoke up, “I agree with your mum love. Look at what we are doing, we are at risk, all of us, what happened to you, would have, could have, happened to any of us and none of us would have seen the signs until it was too late, and next time, someone could be injured or worse.”

“I have had a long telephone conversation with the pharmaceutical company today, I have explained what has been happening, I have given chapter and verse as far as I know it about all of us, what we have been doing, what we have not been doing, and the near miss that you experienced.”

“What did they say mum?”

“They said that they would send me some replacement tablets, and some to Anne too, that would manage our HRT requirements, but that had a reducing dose of the other ingredients that they were testing. By the end of the month we will be finished with them, and our lives should return to normal.”

“Why not just stop taking them if they are so dangerous mum?”

“They say that our bodies, especially our brains, become dependent on some of the ingredients, and just sopping can be very dangerous and can have life changing consequences.”

“Oh. Perhaps they shouldn’t be able to sell them then.”

“They aren’t, we have been doing what they call a clinical trial, it was of the stages before the drug is proposed for approval.”

“Will it go forward for approval?”

“I have no idea, they obviously will not discuss what other triallists have found, what effects they have experienced. The simply went on what I told them. They totally agree it is too dangerous for us to continue, and even if we decided t continue, they will not allow it.”

“Oh. Don’t I get any input?”

“Love, this isn’t a punishment. What happened the other day was exceedingly serious, and I think it is the effect of the medication that is stopping you from seeing it.”

“So, that’s it? The end?”

“In a way yes.”

“In what way mum?”

“Anne and I have had a long chat and we agree that what ever anyone in our families wants to carry on doing in our families is fine as long as all participants agree.”

“So, if Dad and I or Jase and Anne or you and I wanted to carry on having sex, we could?”

“Yes. Now of course you could just carry on anyway, you are legally of the age to do so, but, and this is important, to do so in a hidden way would destroy our families, and so, we feel, that the best thing is, that if any one of us want to carry on as we did, then there will be no judgement, there will only be acceptance, and, this is important, if any of us don’t want to carry on, then no one will pressure them to do so. No must mean no.”

“Oh. I guess.”

Anne spoke up, “In a month’s time Naomi we will all know how we feel about things, at the moment we only feel what the medication allows us to feel. My only hope is that we return to normal that we don’t look back on these past three months and feel massive regret or worse.”

What could I say? The decision was out of my hands. Mum and Rachel had somehow decided what was best for all of us. No discussion, just done. Dusted. Over.

I just said “whatever” and got up to go to my room. “I have studying to do.”